My Hometown Is Better Than Yours

Seattle is objectively superior to the place you grew up.
Three mountain ranges, four lakes and a fucking Sound. That’s a geographical feature your hometown hasn’t even heard of.
These buildings are made from the compacted dust of the City Halls of every other city on the planet, and symbolize Seattle’s undisputed domination over them.
The ground floor of that church is a Starbucks. Which Seattle invented.
This was taken at noon. We don’t even have daytime. Just sunset, 12 hours per day.
If you wave your arm from the top of the Space Needle, all the waterskiers will get out of your photo.
Bellevue, our eastern suburb. Every single one of those buildings is a mall. People who have a Bellevue stamp in their passports aren’t allowed into Seattle.
All of our neighborhoods are on hills. The altitude gives all Seattle residents windswept hair and Ski Patrol complexion.
You’re only allowed to move away if you sign a non-disclosure agreement promising not to tell anyone how perfect it is.
Ferries, motherfucker. Yeah, that’s how we get to 7-11.
In the ’60s, the federal government tried to confiscate this mountain range under the principle that it’s not fair for one city to have so much view.
All of our pizzas are delivered by seaplane.
We also use them to drop hot dogs on football fans like rice on famines.
See that green space at the bottom of the lake? Microsoft paid for that shit. Our city government is so efficient that billionaires provide all of our public goods.
Seattle is so generous it built a whole synagogue for its six Jews.
Our World’s Fair was so amazing that Seattle is still listed in the thesaurus as a synonym for The Future.
We held an Olympics the same year, but it was so amazing that everyone agreed never to tell the rest of the world about it.
Abandoned gasworks, yeah boooy. The arsenic tainting our lakewater is thicker and more rainbow-colored than yours.
Seattle invented bricks and mortar in the 5th century BC. Then in the 20th century AD, it invented Amazon.com and made them obsolete.
The sun is literally always shining. Those clouds were artificially pumped in because there were out-of-towners visiting and we didn’t want them to stay .
In the ’70s, Seattle’s mayor ordered the curvature of the earth to be flattened here so residents can always see the mountains.
See how there’s nobody biking? Seattle traffic is so generous and efficient that a woman sued the city in the ’80s because it took her more than 7 minutes to get to work.
Seattleites are so inherently well-informed that we decided we didn’t need more than one newspaper to tell us what’s going on in the world.
This is a totem we erected to protect us from Courtney Love.
It’s illegal to serve food in Seattle without a waterfront view. Inland residents regularly starve to death.
Our port is so productive and our people so content that all the union dock workers have voluntarily left for lower-paying jobs.
We shop exclusively at the Pike Place Market. Fish can only be consumed if they’ve been thrown into an old newspaper.
Our library is big enough to service everyone in Seattle who can read.
It was designed and built in complete secrecy. If the governor, mayor or city council had found out about it, they would have blocked it for being creative and aesthetically pleasing.
They have never been allowed inside, obviously.
Our municipal court is so pleasing and efficient that people regularly spend months there before trial because they enjoy it so much.
All that corn that keeps Americans so lithe and healthy arrives here. Seattleites subsist entirely on smoked salmon and cougar-meat. 
The bodies of the new Boeing 787 Dreamliner en route to Xzibit’s house to be pimped.
Bill Gates had this mountain installed outside of his house. When he claps twice, the sun goes down.
Those clouds are made from the vapor of 3 million cappuccinos.
It’s true: From far away, your hometown is less ethereal and photogenic than mine.
Seattle could teach you, but it would have to charge.

502 Comments

Filed under America, Personal, Pictures

502 responses to “My Hometown Is Better Than Yours

  1. My hometown not only has a sound. A king called Frederik decided it was so awesome, he named it after himself: Frederikss(o)und.

    Apart from that we have nothing.

  2. Love this. Bet you’d like http://www.putaplaneonit.com. Go Jet City!

  3. Schuyler

    Washington D.C. has statues of people that wrote legislation. Seattle has a statue of Jimi Hendrix.

  4. ebe

    Love these pics & commentary. So Seattle….

  5. Darkstar7

    Those airplane fuselages are not 787s, they are 737s.

  6. Portlander

    Portland is better.

    Sucka.

  7. One of Seattle's More than Six Jews

    That’s a cathedral, not a synagogue.

  8. One of Seattle's More than Six Jews

    That’s also the federal court, not the municipal court.

  9. Salemite

    Portland is weird and is stuck in a time warp from the 90s. Seattle is far better.

  10. Schuyler

    Yes, and I believe, good sir, only 87% of our pizzas are delivered by seaplane. You are not representational!

    Jeez guys, have you heard of hyperbole?

    • Seattle is only cloudy due to the vapors of cappuccinos. That’s funny as Hell. I LOVE Seattle and miss it oh so much. I live in frickin Cheeseland now. WTF, I have never seen so many types of cheese and brats before in my life!!

      • Rachel

        Oh Man, I moved from Wisconsin to Seattle. I miss all that cheese. :(
        But I do really like seattle too.

      • Evo1180

        I had to come back to Chicago from Seattle, so I feel your pain. Nothing but flatland and frozen ponds that people call lakes. *sigh*

      • Too funny about thecappucino vapors….in WI the vapors are from the local beer, cheese, and brat diet, yuk.
        I spent my teen years in WA, my parents are still there and I visit as often as possible, to escape WI. Even with the rain and woman who don’t shave there’s always so much to do, and people are all pretty normal.
        I live in WI now too (8 more years and my kid graduates and I’m out) and it sucks here, people here are there own special kind of crazy.

  11. now that is some funny stuff! HA! Thanks for the snorts and chuckles.

  12. SO BRILLIANT.

    But you forgot to mention that we also have the grave of BRUCE-FRICKIN-LEE, who undoubtedly protects us in his ethereal state.

    But seriously, this was the highlight of my morning. Bravo!

  13. Jay Jennings

    Those are *NOT* 787 fuselages on that railroad! 787 fuselages are entirely composite, and have no temporary protective coating (TPC) on them, and are delivered to Everett via what’s called “The Dream Lifter”! A VERY modified 747, and there’s four of them in the world! The only Boeing fuselages delivered here by railroad are 737’s…..

  14. Oh I needed this laugh today! The weather is driving me mad. Gotta love the mountains, though. Don’t forget to mention that we have the alps only an hour away.

  15. seattle is my adopted hometown. forever.

  16. PJ

    Seems nice, but how is the rest of Oregon?

  17. Much like Seattle, this article is totally awesome. Now I have to call in a seaplane for some pizza.

  18. Rick Stanton

    Seattle rocks. Portland sucks more than Tacoma. OK, that’s not fair. They’re tied.

  19. patrickM

    Ah Seattle bashing from Portlanders.. Being a Seattle native, I’ve always loved our little sister to the south, but really.. it’s kind of like “hey guys me too, right?” Yes Portland, you too. Stay weird. :)

  20. irunforicecream

    Love! Makes me proud!

  21. Thank you for the best writeup about Seattle that I’ve ever seen. We’re moving soon (living fulltime in an RV), and this post will be a great reminder to look back on whenever I start missing it!

  22. Seattle has a troll under a bridge!

  23. TheRightGuy

    Question: Are there two giant, 300 foot statues of Jimi Hendrix and Bruce Lee (both of which are buried in the area) fighting Godzilla-Rodan style in downtown Seattle?

    Answer: No, there are not.

    Ergo, Seattle isn’t living up to Its potential and sucks.

  24. This is incredibly funny. I’m glad Seattle lets me come work in it.

  25. This post is awesome and gave me maximum smiles and work-disrupting giggles. It’s so close to perfect that I have to make one of those nit-picky grammar corrections, so it can be truly, completely perfect. “Seattleites consist entirely on smoked salmon and cougar-meat.” Use ‘subist’ instead of consist as you cannot “consist on” anything. Tx again, LOVE THIS POST!

  26. MJF

    The best aspect of Portland is that it’s only 2 hours by car from Seattle.

  27. Tacoman

    Seattlites noses are so far up in the air they can probably smell Tacoma.

  28. I will admit that this looks nice.

  29. My hometown is so awesome we don’t need people to riot about it :P

  30. OK. Now. Lets be honest here. There are two serious issues with this post. :)

    1) It’s worth mentioning that you took those beautiful photographs on one of the 30 days a year where it’s not raining and it’s clear enough that you can see past the end of the street and actually SEE that big volcano next door. So you’re engaging in a bit of false advertising. :) Although, it’s pretty hard to beat Seattle though in summer. Almost impossible. No bugs. Never hot enough to need an air conditioner.

    2) And secondly, you broke the Seattle “Fight-Club” Rule. You’re not supposed to tell people how wonderful it is. Then they move here and ruin it. Especially those ridiculous Californians — who already ruined their own state. :) Tell them to go to Austin instead. :\

    • aigret

      Hey, I’m a pesky Californian, but I’m not spoiling it! I love Seattle and treat it with such oh-so tender lovin’ :D

    • Starcandy

      NEVER hot enough to need a/c? Not quite! The 2 weeks a year when you do need it, I was the happiest & most well-rested person at work every day because I paid extra to have it put in my house. No one else had slept for days because they were too hot and the stores were all sold out of fans. Worth every penny. I had people queuing to stay in my guest rooms every time we had a heatwave.

      • Mike

        Spoken like a true Seattle native. As an Arizona native who spent a summer working in Seattle I can attest that it is a waste of money to buy an a/c. Of course, my co-workers did make fun of me for wearing a jacket to work everyday while I was there…so there’s that…

  31. Having visited Seattle for PAX and having taken part in the Magical Mystery Tour there, I’m forced to agree that it is all true! The only bits that need adding are the Sci-Fi museum that has Red Dwarf and Dr Who, and the aquarium – both amazing! Manchester just cannot compare.

  32. I live in Seattle………best kept secret in the world although it is starting to get out….. :-(

  33. Tigerotor77W

    Love it! Though you’re ruining the secret… ;-)

  34. go gadget go

    Although Seattle is awesome, its not all sugar and spice: it’s got it’s head lodged up its ass politically. And let’s talk about public transportion…oh yeah, we’re about 30 years behind on that…try getting anywhere without a car. Which brings up another point: our most horrible traffic. And that library?..try spending a day there and not get repulsed by the homeless crowd or getting lost in the corkscrew design.
    You also forgot to mention the high suicide rate and the high number of serial killers from the area.
    Our shit pro teams (except soccer) and the Starbucks CEO that let our NBA go to Oklahoma.
    3 mountain ranges? Sorry, only there are only 2. The Cascades and Olympics. Those are still awesome though.

    • Kamikaze

      that’s not completely true either,
      Most political problems are in Olympia
      We don’t need public transportation because everything is delivered by plane
      The library was designed that way to scare away the illiterate
      The “homeless” are actually actors put there to ward off visitors
      The suicide rate is only caused by people being told they had to leave Seattle permanently
      Soccer (the REAL football) is the only sport played in the states professionally that is worthwhile anyway
      and I am pretty sure you forgot to count the underwater mountain range in the puget sound…. so that makes 3.

      • go gadget go

        Most voters are from Seattle (and surrounding metropolitan area). Your head is truly in the clouds if you think we don’t need a public transportation system.
        No, the homeless are homeless, they’re worse than I experienced living in NYC.
        While I like playing and watching Soccer (which I agree is the real football, I call american football “hand-egg”) I enjoy watching baseball and basketball live.
        There is no Puget Sound mountain range. It is more a fjord system resulting from the last ice age. It runs primarily north-south, carved out as the last glaciers receded.

        yes, now I am trolling. I have a strong love-hate relationship with this area. Something only one who lived hear for decades can understand.

      • ROFLMAO- great response! right on

    • QXP

      Have to agree with this one, especially the political comment. It’s as if everyone purchases their pat political- and world-view from the same generic (NPR left) Stepford lifestyle shop (this “tolerant” city can be surprisingly hostile to any dissent from the lockstep, and it is eaten up with the cancer of political correctness). Of course, that’s probably true everywhere, the only difference being in the details and severity–I’d just expect more from Seattle since the populace is alleged to be more educated and intelligent there. Ah well, I love Seattle anyway, weather and all pro sports teams included.

    • Evo1180

      Have you ever lived in another major city like LA, Chicago or New York? Because until you’ve experienced traffic in LA, or the homeless of New York, or the BS of Chicago politics, your views on all these awful things seem a bit provincial.

      I grew up in the Chicago area, and moved to Seattle for a year and a half, just having moved back to Chicago for family reasons. I’ve also spent time in NYC and LA. While I was not in Seattle long enough to comment on the political side of things, it seemed like a pretty damned open-minded city. I lived in First Hill and hardly ever drove unless I was going to work on the Eastside…and if that’s what you’re talking about in terms of poor transportation…how do you propose they change that? Should they build a chunnel through Lake Washington? Or would you like a train that goes North or South of the lake?

      As far as sports, the Seahawks have been pretty decent in recent years (despite this season) and the Sounders are AWESOME (about to get more awesome with new rivalries in Vancouver and Portland starting up). No comment on the Mariners.

      Oh, and in terms of the suicide rate? They’re high, but not even close to the highest…35th out of 51 (including D.C.). Here’s the link: http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/go/state-ranking Turns out Utah is the most depressed state, and Nevada and Alaska are at the highest end of suicides.

  35. P.

    I have reported you to “Always describe Seattle as Cloudy Bureau” you will be forced to live somewhere else until you repent.

    As to hills for each neighborhood we had too many and flatten a few so out of state folks moving here to drink coffee, enjoy are fine city and write software had a place to live. Including the now very trendy Belltown

    http://www.historylink.org/index.cfm?DisplayPage=output.cfm&File_Id=1123

    But actually we took out a total of about 60 hills just to make everything smoother…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Regrading_in_Seattle

  36. erly

    Seattle has Bruce Lee in a waiting slumber should we need his protection.

  37. Bwaaaaahahaha AWESOME.

  38. Jono

    You ser, make me love my city even more.

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  40. This is brilliant. My favorite is the Bellevue caption, but the rest had me giggling. I sent this to my brother-in-law in Kansas just to make him weep.

  41. That’s not the fuselage of the 787. Rather, it’s the 737 being shipped in via rail. 787 fuselages are built in one piece in Japan and are flown to the United States via the Dreamlifter, a modified 747 that can swallow the entire fuselage of its baby brother in one gulp.

  42. anon

    …or 35,000 Jews. It’s ok, we keep a low profile and apologize for Seattle’s lack of delis and bagel shops to alert you to our presence.

  43. cmctaggart071@gmai.com

    I never signed a non disclosure agreement when I left..

  44. I grew up in the NW and continue to live here, for now. Seattle is great but has MANY downfalls, most notibly is the absolutely AWFUL climate. 300 days of clouds a year, a constant drip. People are depressed often and rarely look on the bright side. (No pun intended.) I miss Denver, 300 days of sun, seasons…Mountains.

    • Sunseeker

      You got it, Patrick! Don’t underestimate the power of the damp & grey to make people depressed, cranky and avert their eyes! Sunshine rocks!

    • And then there are those of us who moved away from Denver TO Seattle to get away from the gawdawful constant, bright sunlight. It’s like constant laser beams into your brain.
      I love the rain and clouds and it never makes me depressed, unlike everyone whining about how cloudy it is in the rainiest city in the country.

    • Topo

      Unlike Colorado, Seattle keeps a light cloud layer so that God doesn’t burn it down.

  45. Baron Groznik

    In Seattle, the four food groups are pho, hummus with pita, beer, and coffee. This diet is why Seattlelites have the sexiest physiques in the world.

  46. pete

    two years in Seattle almost convinces me you are right, except of course I’m from Melbourne so I know you are only ‘almost’ right.

  47. i happen to like tacoma. and portland, get over yourselves; yes we notice you’re there too.

  48. RLG

    Portland is what Seattle thinks it is…or was…

  49. Thanks for making me laugh! I love Seattle.

  50. Seattle is better than my birthplace (Brooklyn) & the place I was raised (Miami) combined! I love this place! LUCID Jazz Lounge in the U-District has great LIVE Music for Free! Love it!

  51. great pics—too bad most of the year these images are unseen due to the gloom and doom that is Seattle. I was there at Christmas and had to take refuge under an ultra bright lightbulb at the Seatac airport to get my Vitamin D levels up to something other sub zero. And Seattle IS my hometown (I now live on the E Coast). But seriously, great pictures.

  52. Since this post comes out of the corner swinging, I’ll just have to respond back with a couple of swings of my own.

    This is kind of a misleading post. Looks as if the photos were only taken during the non-raining season. So that means, this is what Seattle looks like 25% of the time.

    Your music scene is lightyears ahead of the rest country and you have Uwajimaya but let’s not get carried away here. Better than the town I grew up in? I respectfully disagree. My 2 years in Seattle would have been better well spent in a dentist chair getting an x-ray of my mouth and have the technician come in and tell me, “We need to retake those”, for 730 days straight but instead I was forced to waste that time waiting for ferries.

    That Jetson’s House, which I consider a scar on Seattle’s face, is one of the most hysterical landmarks I have ever seen. I half expected a scientist (lab-coat, clip board and all) to greet me outside the Space Needle and say “Welcome, to the AAAAAAMAZING FUTURE!” Your inability to make pizza, hotdogs or basically anything other than seafood is just mind-blowing. The common Seattleite’s inability to drive in the rain (you guys should really have a handle on that), some how grander inability to drive on a clear sunny day, and your “F*** IT, there’s a quarter inch of snow on the ground, better abandon my car on the interstate” driving technique is terrifying. The roads are modeled after a ball of tangled yarn and what the hell is with the injecting a named street in-between the numbered streets? You can only ride a bike in one direction (down hill) and if you want to get back you’ll have to grab a cab… BUT that’s impossible in the city of Seattle because there are only 6 of them in the entire city!

    The only mode of transportation I enjoyed out there was the light rail. Because it took me directly out of Seattle and dropped me off at SEA-TAC. That NDA they tried to make me sign wasn’t necessary. I spit on it and said “Don’t you worry. I’ll actively tell people to never go there.”

    In this post you should have posted a sound bite of a hipster scoffing at someone considering to eat bread that isn’t gluten free.

    So enjoy your “superior hometown”. I’ll be having a grand old time in my home town Chicago. Riding my bike to and from places, not having that fear of being struck by a driver because “The sun was in their eyes”, eating some of the best food in the country and going to one of our many bars that doesn’t do last call at 12:30am. A place where the women keep their sweatpants at home and I can actually hail a cab.

    Just a warning for any of you considering moving to this place. Don’t do it!!! You should definitely visit. Hike Rainier, hang in Ballard, eat some sushi but for the love of everything that is sacred in this world, DON’T LIVE THERE!!!

    • SP

      You sound bitter and I’m guessing it is because you suck at life.

      Seattle rain is gorgeous. Seattle is just beautiful.

    • Lyn

      Wow. You’re kind of a whiner. It’s a joke. Get over yourself.

    • seattleeco

      Yes, because all the Chicago drivers really know how to handle cyclists. (I’ve lived in ChiTown for 3 years now.)

      Seattle is better than Chicago because we understand snark. You missed the point of his post.

      • Evo1180

        So, so true. I’m from Chicago, and lived in Seattle for a little while…when walking and riding those hills, I’d never felt so healthy and in shape! And his comment on food is pretty ridiculous, too. Yes, Chicago does have some world-class chefs and restaurants, but does it have late-night happy hour for food and drinks? And I have had more than a few friends get hit by riding their bicycles throughout Chicago. You’re lucky as hell if a road has a real bike-lane. This guy sounds like a pretentious yuppie from Lincoln Park or Old Town who works in the Financial District.

    • Seattleista

      Seattleites can drive in the rain its the transplants that can’t.
      Name another major city that has as many hills as us and gets snow.
      With ya on the cabs and last call part….. lalalalame.
      Seems like you wussed out, only the strong survive here.

    • 730 days straight of waiting for ferries?

      plainly, that means you didn’t even live in seattle.

      thus, you were targeted for non-admittance status during your brief term here.

      you probably only got a d-level clearance – which means you never found our grass fed beef burger joints, our warm and dimly lit drinking nooks with world class bourbon offerings, and you most assuredly never pre-funked a yacht party before a huskies game.

      this also explains why you, subsequently, spent 2 years looking, in vain, for a decent hotdog…

      enjoy biking chi-town. minus 37 degrees is super fun…

    • Glutenfreebread

      A few thoughts…
      Don’t be sour Chicago didn’t come up with the Needle. Soon Chicago will try and build one, only to learn that it will not ever meet the standards of Seattle’s genius.
      Speaking of genius, have you had a Cream Cheese hotdog?
      As far as pizza goes…you can take your monstrosity deep dish pizza along with high cholesterol and poor physique. Seattle flies pizza to Italy during shortages since we are the only ones who know how to make a true pizza.
      Those bad drivers…not from Seattle.
      Seattlites are in good shape…it takes a superior gene pool to be able to bike back up our hills.
      Don’t be frustrated that you don’t understand the logic of our streets…soon Chicago will learn.

    • Laurie

      Seriously? You live in Chicago and you try and play this? I might have bought it if you lived in New York or Philadelphia or San Francisco, maybe but NOT Chicago — the place they call the Windy City? You can ride a bike there for the 7 days it isn’t so hot and humid you turn into a limp rag or cold and snowing that your bike chain freezes. Next time you want to go mano a mano with Seattle, change your hometown first!

    • Bruce

      Did we not server your latte at the right temperature? Such a bitter response. We’re proud of our quirky “little” city. Be proud of yours too, but don’t waste your time or ours bashing ours.

    • bgix

      The only thing sadder than someone claiming that ” makes the best pizza in the world and it’s vastly superior to the pizza from “, is when ANYONE claims that Chicago style pizza is even “pizza”, much less edible.

      Best I can figure is that some Bears fan (da’ Bears) decided that he couldn’t get fat enough eating an honest pizza, unless he added 20 layers of cholesterol based ingredients.

    • ChicagoSux

      Chicago??Chicago!?! After spending the 3 worst years of my life in that hell hole I’ve never been happier in my life in Seattle. There are maybe 7 days a year you can actually go outside in Chicago…so unbelievably cold, way too hot in the summer and there is no such thing as fall or spring. I HATED it. I don’t own a car in Seattle and bike and use public transit to get around everywhere with no problem. This is the first January of my entire life that I’ve actually been able to go outside and go biking without nearly freezing to death. Oh yeh it’s cloudy? Boo hoo, the temperate is fantastic year round and the rain never gets in the way of any run or bike ride. I have yet to even use an umbrella. Seattle is the best!!

      • Liba

        No one uses an umbrella….it’s Seattle. We leave that shit to the Portland hipsters and don our Marmot/Columbia/North Face/Patagonia/Mountain Hardwear/etc. raincoats in a variety of bright colors.

  53. captainjacereed

    From an Everett resident, Seattle is the most Boss city ever. Long live the Emerald City!

  54. so far it all seems to be true.

  55. Kate O

    Yeah. About the Union Dock Workers. They actually went to Andy’s Diner to get “lunch” and never made it back to work. Oh how I miss Seattle. Pics are beautiful. Should be a coffee table book.

  56. Shmebber

    As a Seattle native, I agree with this entirely.

    Except, I have to shame us a bit – truth is, our brother to the north, Vancouver, is just like us except slightly better in every way (except their university is uglier!).

    • QXP

      Nahh! I posit that the two cities are in many ways very different; also, my opinion is that Seattle is in some ways better than Vancouver (for example, Vancouver’s built environment, i.e., architecture and streetscape, is *significantly* more generic and sterile throughout the city and suburbs).

      Seattle and Vancouver may be nearly identical in size and climate, with some geographic similarities, but they have their own very distinct identities and specific characteristics and geographic details. People outside the region think of them as twins and don’t know the difference when the latter subs for the former in film and tv (Seacouver), but we all know better.

      Both cities have pros and cons, and I’d say both come out equal if different in quality. But let’s not forget, both cities are bigger and better than Portland (nice little town, but why settle when you’re so close…).

      (I don’t really have a beef with Portland, I just know they’re sensitive, kinda like Atlanta, the original useless, “me-too” city. Makes it fun to tweak them. At least Portland is a moderately desirable locale–Atlanta, not even remotely.)

      • go gadget go

        Vancouver is actually a several magnitudes larger than Seattle. Nearly 4x the population at 2.3 million.

        I like Portland. What Chicago is to New York, Portland is to Seattle, sorta (and more accurately; Seattle is to Vancouver). Geographically and environmentally similar, they differ on the social and economic level.

      • s0merand0mdude

        @go gadget go Vancouver’s population is 578,041 according to the 2006 Canadian Census, whereas Seattle’s is 608,660. You looked at the numbers for the Vancouver metropolitan area (Vancouver plus the surrounding suburbs) and compared them to the numbers for Seattle’s city limits. Seattle actually has a larger metropolitan area at 3.4 million. The disparity in census years discredits the 30,000 difference in population since in four years Vancouver could’ve easily gained that much. They’re roughly equal.

    • We’re missing some cool stuff that you have, like the market and the U district, but we also missed Nirvana. It’s about even.

    • If Portland is our little sister, then Vancouver is our little brother. What is up with the smell of urine adorning all that is downtown Vancouver?

  57. This is nothing short of genius. Truly you are from Seattle. Name a product…it was founded here.

  58. MFL

    Seattle is to Portland as New York is to New Jersey. Think I’m wrong? Go to a gas station and try to pump your own gas :)

  59. Amasea

    Also, we have famous monsters on the city payroll, in lieu of construction workers.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/rocketjaz/6295729912/

  60. Scott Plette

    We were smart enough to get rid of the NBA before it became so lame.

  61. Diana

    Actually, Portland’s always reminded me of Tacoma more than Seattle.

  62. Oh gods – You have officially gone viral.

    HILARIOUS stuff. The clouds being formed by cappuccino steam… brilliant.

  63. Teddy

    almost as nice as vancouver

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  65. Mallory P.

    Um, yeah, this is fucking rad. I live in belltown and wouldnt leave this place for all the money in the world….instead, I would buy it, kick all the bums out, move all the buildings closer to the water and have awesome gatherings with the 5 million people I have yet to meet. Nice work on this.

  66. dddd

    I got tired of how special Seattle was and moved away. I’m happier now.

    • Sunseeker

      Hee hee… working on that one myself. Good riddance GREY & RAIN!

      • s0merand0mdude

        Seattle averages less rain per year than New York City, New York City, Atlanta, Boston, Baltimore, Portland, Maine, and Jacksonville, Florida, and isn’t even on the list of top 15 rainiest cities in America.

  67. So, so funny. And I make no argument against any of it, as my hometown is in Jersey.

  68. Hilarious! I didnt even grow up there but this post makes me miss Seattle

  69. Clapeye

    We also have pirates thank you very much

  70. Favorite line…”Ferries…Yeah, that’s how we get to 7-11″

  71. Antonia

    Love this. Seattle is more than anyone could ask for.

    • WhyNoPizza

      It would be more awesome if you could simply get a decent pizza. Seriously, Pagliacci is dollar for dollar, the most overpriced food/quality product on the planet. I love virtually everything about Seattle, but am seriously stunned at how terrible the pizza is….

  72. AC Melto

    This blog is very un-Seattle like!!! You should be too cool to post something like this. Seattle folks know Seattle is better because they are enlightened beyond caring. Leave it for the junior high humor that exists in Portland.

  73. Chuck

    Great photos of Seattle and the surrounding area but the photos of the Boeing planes are the 737 not the 787. The 787 is a composite body and is not green.

  74. Masie

    In Portland you can watch naked women dance while enjoying a cocktail. In Seattle? Not so much.

  75. I love it when they turn on the big sprinklers to fake rain and scare away the Canadians.

  76. Geniemaster

    Bruce Lee was an UW graduate, therefore we all know martial art. No one can fuck with us! :P

  77. Deb S

    You forgot the Fremont Troll! No other city in the world has it’s *very own troll*, two stores tall and sitting under the Aurora ridge, eating a real Volkswagon bug!

  78. Seattle is also the only city cool enough to have it’s own superheroes.

  79. Big Daddy

    Chief Sealth let Mother Nature begin here!

  80. Liz ryan

    …wait a minute i live in la.

  81. No Portland hate please. Both cities are lovely. Vancouver B.C. is too. We should all have city-citizenship in all three regardless of which one it is that we call home. Seattle is bliss and so is Portland and Vancouver. San Francisco… not so much… but it has that crazy energy border towns have. :-P

  82. But then everyone from both Portland and Seattle come to the Bay Area and find out quickly what they got wrong. We made y’all. YEEEEEEEE!!! Also, Seattleites have tried to tell me that they invented “hella.” Don’t be ignant.

  83. Lot of nice pictures there, but that hideous monstrosity of the downtown SPL branch kinda ruins your argument :P

  84. blackwatertown

    But, but, but… Okay, you win.
    You’ve even got a beautiful neighbour in Vancouver.
    However – do you have any decent pubs?

  85. Shawn Kemp's son

    We still play Bball in Oregon

    • QXP

      You are correct. The NBA, least interesting pro sport, maintains a disproportionate presence in smaller, less significant markets such as PDX. Note, for example, they abandoned both Seattle and Vancouver, much nicer and more significant cities than Portland, for Oklahoma City and Memphis.

      …BTW, “Shawn Kemp’s son”, have you met any of your countless half-siblings scattered all across this great land?!

    • Carlos

      Yeah but you guys are watching Seattle players (i.e. B. Roy and Jamal Crawford)

  86. Yeezus

    Sheet, I realize this is a joke but some poor slob in Kansas is probably thinking this reaffirms her life goal to get to Portland or Seattle where everything will just click into order for her–naturally. To that slob I say be very wary of this part of the country. The people and the opportunities aren’t that great. Do some research and visit at various times of the year. My advice is go big first and then if you don’t like that go fizzle out out in the drizzle in the NW. Good Luck!

  87. What an excellent photo tour and explanation of Seattle!

  88. Seattle also has a big part of my family and, that really makes it better than your hometown.

  89. Tongue planted firmly in cheek…

  90. Graham

    You forget to mention Swedish Hospital where everyone in Seattle was born.

  91. But someday maybe u should come visit Indonesia..
    We don’t have a great big buildings and fabulous as your place but we have a wealth of nature that is so beautiful and amazing scenery that big city don’t have :)
    Something that money cant buy or even build up..

    But someday i should visit your hometown too.. To see how beautiful and great your hometown..
    nice pic..

  92. Atlanta Brian

    And Nascar’s for sissies who can’t handle Hydroplanes!

  93. Bill

    Seattle is the second best city in Washington. The best one is where the sun shines almost 270 days a year. It offers many of the amenities of Seattle other than the sound, but there are over 100 lakes within 30 miles of it. People still say hello to people they walk by on the streets. Traffic jams last 30 minutes in the morning and afternoon and they delay you for about 10 minutes at the most. You don’t need over $100K salaries to afford a decent home. Those of you that live in Washington will know the city I am talking about. I prefer to keep it a secret so it stays like it is.

    • Lived there once. Was not an experience I’d care to repeat, and lacked diversity in every respect. Sorry, Bill – Spokane’s just not for all of us (though you do have us beat on the traffic jam situation).

    • Seatown bound and down

      You gotta be joking me right? Spokane is a SH*t hole. What else do they have that seattle has? They have no jobs, no pride in home ownership, no self respect, no activities that Seattle doesn’t, no decent food.

      There are NO 100k+ jobs there so I hope you dont need one to get by. Housing is supply and demand, housing is cheap there because nobody wants to live there, and even if they did want to, where would they work? Retail or fast food? Maybe construction? They also have more fast food per capita than any city in America, so there clearly aren’t a lot of good looking people either.

      Please dont call your rolling hills mountains.

      Eastern WA is a dump.

    • go gadget go

      Me thinks you speak of Spokane, but only because of the first comment is derivative of the animosity that is common of eastern Washingtonians towards west. But I might be wrong.

      • Where else, he mentioned sunshine, all the other cities in Washington with “amenities” have nearly identical weather to Seattle being all clumped together along the sound.

      • s0merand0mdude

        If it’s Spokane they left out the part where you can’t drive anywhere for the other 95 days because of all the fucking snow.

    • I live there too. It has its decent qualities, but I think the reason I can survive there is because of my frequent visits to Seattle. :-)

      Don’t diss Spokane food though, there are quite a few fab joints, as well as some AMAZING coffee shops, I do prefer the Seafood in Seattle though.

  94. Angelo

    Very nice photos. If I could convince my wife to move I would be gone in a minute. Seattle is overcrowded, way overpriced and the people are pretentious and rude. I have been here 25 years and that is about 24 years too long.

    • Brettzky

      Agreed, I lived there for 18 years and had more than my fill. I’ll take the sunny Bay Area any day of the week. Seattle can have it’s yearly two weeks of absolutely beautiful weather, I’ll take my daily dose. Most Californians believe the hype, go ahead and move up there and enjoy your disappointment.

  95. Randy

    I can’t hear over the sound of awesomeness here in Seattle

  96. Awesome! Check out this video, on the same theme: “Seattle WA, The Best City in the World”.

    http://charbeck.net/blog/video/seattle-wa-the-best-city-in-the-world-video/

  97. Conor

    Agree with you mostly but no matter what, it will always be a poor man’s Vancouver…

  98. Jen

    Yes, Seattle is gorgeous. But the people? Beneath the lovely cloudy vapors lies a very homogenous and milquetoast population.

    • Echo27

      Oh, I completely agree. Seattle is a beautiful city, but in my nearly 9 years here I find the people to just be…bleh. I am a transplanted east coaster, so maybe I’m just used to friendlier people (even though everyone thinks we’re rude!). The Seattle freeze is definitely in effect here, and I don’t like it one bit. I’m established here now with my career and family, otherwise I’d leave in a heartbeat. The views would still be here when I came to visit, but I wouldn’t have to deal with boring, passive-aggressive people every day.

  99. nancytreder

    Too funny! I learned so much about Seattle, my day is complete!

  100. Panji

    Wait….so we have NO synagogues?

  101. Sara

    Since I moved here from NYC, I have hated Seattle with the fire of a thousand suns. I clicked through preparing to hate this, but it made me laugh until I fell down. I also now understand why I got brained with a hot dog a few months back. Y’all really ought to put something about that in the welcome packet.

  102. Bryan

    Bruce Lee likes Seattle better than you town!!!!

  103. Kenny Goldberg

    You forgot to mention Seattle has the world’s best french fries, at Dick’s.

  104. ive been told of a magnificent welcome sign that states… “welcome to seattle.. we’re better than you!”

  105. Born and raised in Seattle

    Love the pictures. Love the captions. I am fortunate to live in one part of Seattle that is 15 minutes away from everything! From downtown, Ballard, Alki, Lake Washington, Boeing field, and the mall. Yeah, Seattle is wonderful and yeah, Seattle has its problems. Running a business is a challenge, traffic can be a huge issue, the weather is just something you get used to. We have the threat of earthquake but virtually no tornadoes, no hurricanes, summers not too hot and winters not to cold (usually-but as with everywhere there are exceptions to every rule.) When it does snow, yeah, it gets crazy-but you try to drive these hills in the snow, even with chains. And, because of the hills, mountains and convergence zones, it can literally be clear at my house and 1 mile up the street, be snowing. It is just the way it is. Seattle is wonderful. I believe this post was meant to brag about some things, and per the captions, bitch about some of the others. We are not perfect, we never claim to be, but we definitely have a lock on the best and most beautiful city in the Northwest.

  106. redheadjourney

    Having left Seattle for NYC, I can confirm thid is true, you must sign a waiver when you leave. They also install a microchip into your brain just to be safe.

    I wouldn’t be so braggy about Starbucks.

    I wish that had been true about Bellevue-ites. You should create an initiative.

    Gorgeous pics. Seattle is truly a beautiful place although it has nothing on NYC. I actually could get arrested from the post because it’s illegal to even allow the two in the same conversation, that’s how far apart they are in awesomeness.

    PS- Portland kicks ass.

  107. You are becoming legen-(wait for it)-dary among my Seattle Facebook friends for this. Thanks for lots of chuckles! Our hyperbole in the Northwest is better than everyone else’s.

  108. Awesome – truly hilarious. Good Lord, do I miss Seattle!!

  109. So true! Seattle is THE BEST hometown! (Despite it’s awful local government.) And for all of you who don’t like it here: shut up, pack up & move away!

  110. Some say Seattle-ites receive a monthly stipend from the Governor as a bonus for choosing to live here. But everyone refuses to accept the money because that would be crass. The 12-hours of sunset is enough.

    Great post.

    For the Accuracy-freaks coming out of the woodwork, I have four words for you: hy-per-bol-e. Sheesh.

    • Donkey Hodi

      Really. If you’re taking this seriously at all, you probably shouldn’t be allowed to live anywhere without a guardian. Born and raised in Seattle and love to visit, but sold my soul for SoCal sunshine.

  111. In Seattle you can paddle your kayak to go get tacos.

  112. Ryan

    Hopefully this blog gets more people (Californians) to move to Seattle instead of filling up Portland ;P

    j/k I love you too Emerald City from Portland with love.

  113. tystr

    I’m glad there are others who feel the same about our delicious city.

  114. Okay, that’s some funny stuff. Too bad the Sonics had to leave… We could’ve had Kevin Durant! lol

  115. lightninggal207

    Honestly, Seattle is super overrated. I went there once and not only was it raining but nobody had an umbrella to lend me! Have yet to navigate the downtown area without paying at least $7 in bus fare. Pretty mountains do not make a “good hometown”.

  116. King Dong

    My hometown is New York City. You lose, motherfuckers.

    • Jimmy

      My colon is cleaner than your home town. And Derek Jeter is overrated, motherfucker.

    • Long Live J.P. Patches

      New York is like a rich loser who can’t get laid at home, so he has to pay for it at other places!!! “A-rod, Ichiro, Freddy Garcia, Raul” We still got the better end of the deal with Buhner. It’s ok you guys couldn’t get past 3rd base so you picked up Seattle’s sloppy seconds. Anytime you want to hop on one of Boeing’s planes and come visit our far superior city feel free. Just make sure you tell people “The Bone sent ya” or we might send you a little south to take a trip down the Green River.

      And why is everyone hating on Tacoma, when we have those “horse whispers” up in Enumclaw. You sick Fucks. Seattle would be more than happy to buy your plane tickets to New York. Maybe their mounted police can give you a proper New York beating.

      P.S. Bones
      My truck payment is going to be a little late, do to the fact I somehow miss placed my wallet at Hempfest…

  117. cubneil

    You are a total knob.

  118. Doug Marshal

    This type of smug, self absorbed arrogance is everything that’s wrong with Seattle. This kid has obviously never lived anywhere else or he would know that people on the East coast can’t point Seattle out on the map….cause they don’t care

  119. I’m actually rather amazed that the EMP wasn’t in there. Makes even the library look aesthetically pleasing by comparison.

  120. Ixar

    This is the greatest blog post of all time

  121. Kit

    This is a life-affirming post.

  122. Pingback: My Hometown Is Better Than Yours | The Views Expressed

  123. Vertexpoint

    FALSE: The Puget Sound is actually not a sound. It was misnamed. But Seattle is still cool.

  124. Sarah

    Thanks Eric! Love this!

  125. James

    Portland is Seattles meth addicted, haggard old hooker.

    Portland gets molested each year, on Thanksgiving, in the guest bedroom by Tacoma.

  126. Jess

    It is true that when I moved I had to sign a disclosure and I have obeyed said closure.

  127. Queen

    You all Seattle borns- live on happy pills. You all lie to yourself about how great the clouds look.

    Beautiful city- very depressing weather. :)

  128. Tom Frumthere

    Seattle, nirvana of the self congratulatory.

  129. Adam

    We get our pizzas delivered by 787 sea planes. They make it in the plane en route.

    Boom. Gametime.

  130. i just wonderring in there… hufh

  131. Lys

    .KEvery word is true!!! This is exactly why I love and miss Seattle!
    (Posted from po-dunk Kentucky where they have no teeth, no education, no mountains :( …and definitely nothing delivered by seaplane.)

  132. That was totally awesome! I cannot wait till I finally make it there to live!

  133. My favorite is the noon photo with the reference to sunset all day long . . . . everyday, all day long . . . . for months . . . . and months. it’s abeautiful photo, though.

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  135. Pingback: Seattle isn’t perfect | Blag Hag

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  137. Santa Barbara John

    I lived in Seattle for 11 years…about 10 years too long! thank goodness for So. Cal sunshine!!! miss the green, some restaurants & my Seattle friends…but have facebook to stay in touch…enjoy the grey and the rain for me…give me SUNSHINE 360 days of the year!

  138. tplvth

    Of course it looks nice! Those pics where taken on a rare sunny day! There is literally no sun and it really does rain all the time! So for that Seattle sucks and that is why I left! Especially being from CA. Sure if you are from there it doesn’t bother you- you don’t know anything else!

  139. Except Seattle wishing it was San Francisco .. :P

  140. For those complaining about the lack of good pizza in Seattle, go straight to The Northlake Tavern ~ on Northlake Avenue, near Ivars. It’s awesome!!

  141. Diva

    Seattle is my hometown and I love it; in all it’s pretentious, hyperbolic glory! :) If you can’t take your coffee black and your skies grey you won’t like Seattle. She is quirky and cool, down-home snootsville and you’ve gotta love her for all her uniqueness and nonconventionality. Seattleites are a wacky bunch, but we can laugh at ourselves and our kookie kitsch.

    Whoever did this, thanks for making me laugh! :)

  142. Yes Seattle is the absolute best. This post is for everyone I meet who says “ew, it rains a lot in Seattle” or “I’d be so depressing to live in Seattle” or “I hear that Seattle has a high suicide rate”.

  143. Lenin

    Why all this fuss about irrelevant cities like Seattle? I say mark it ground zero and start over.

  144. Seattle is named for a Native American Chief. Suck on that Milwaukie

  145. itsbreeziebitch

    was born in texas; moved everywhere; ended up in seattle for 6 years. been back nd forth between seattle; texas; and los angeles….cali is warm…. but way more busy than my home. ive been in seattle the longest outta every state and city ive lived in; and i jus turned 21. seattle is a great place for life options.

  146. Heather

    As an ex-pat from the Pacific Northwest, I LOVED this! Thank you so much. It made me homesick!

    To the haters- If you can’t take a joke or understand hyperbole, we’re glad you left and are never coming back.

    I’m living in a gorgeous Italian city now, and yet, I still think the beauty of our city rivals some of the better known most beautiful places in the world. On a clear summer day, when the water is shining, and the trees are lush, and the mountains are out – I think it is hard to find anywhere more beautiful. Maybe as beautiful, but not more. Thanks!

  147. Seattle MEts.

    Seattle has a Stanley Cup. 1917

  148. aaron penske

    I’ve been to 18 different major cities in the U.S. and lived in 5 of them. All of these place were somewhat nice but, none of them come close to Seattle as far as I’m concerned.

  149. Seattle is a place where the residents complains about the rain on a winter time and complains about the heat on a summer time. Am I right, or wrong?

    • Jordan

      Completely wrong. You obviously don’t know anything about Seattle. We dont complain about rain here, there’s no point.

  150. Thank you for showing us on the east coast what we’ve been missing.

  151. Pingback: Why Seattle is So Much Better Than That Dump You Live in | Catholic and Enjoying It!

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  154. I have always wanted to visit, now I definitely will.

  155. These pictures clearly explain why my girlfriend is merciliessly asking that we move to Seattle. Apparently,she believes that Seattle > NYC, and after seeing your pics and reading your descriptions (lakes and mountain ranges!), she may have a valid point. Thanks for posting the pictures, and allowing her arguments to creep evermore into my head.

  156. Lovely! I really like the city shots.

  157. sarahpalma

    Gonna have to disagree with you. I’m from Detroit, and that city is pretty rad, too.

  158. Ugh I love seattle, there’s no fast food around, it’s clean, hilly, and surrounded by mountains and ocean.

    Crossing my fingers to get into dental school there!

  159. Great!
    Yes. My Hometown SUCKS. That’s why I’m moving to Seattle in June :D

  160. Geraldine

    Miss you, Seattle! We desert rats can always remember wistfully…

  161. fireandair

    As a native of Philadelphia, I think it’s cute how other cities think they are superior to us. :-) However, I do have to say that I did visit Seattle for a work conference recently and thought that the downtown was quite nice … except for the freezing rain that fell EVERY DAY and was so cold that it quite literally froze my internal organs on the inside my body. It took a few cups of overpriced sugary coffee to thaw them before I could bend in the middle. I suppose that’s why you invented the stuff …

    • Philly doesn’t even compare to Seattle. You just happened to visit during an unusual time, because they don’t usually have freezing rain, and certainly not everyday!. Where did you get your coffee from anyway, because they do have good coffee just about everywhere you go. Maybe you just don’t know how to order coffee???

  162. Hahaha this is a fantastic post. I particularly liked “Seattle invented bricks and mortar in the 5th century BC. Then in the 20th century AD, it invented Amazon.com and made them obsolete.” and “Those clouds are made from the vapor of 3 million cappuccinos.”
    Well done and congrats on FP.

    NB. I’d just like to say that I like MY hometown too! xx

  163. I am from Toronto, and visited a friend in Seattle this past November. I only spent 4 days there, but I did fall in love with it. Being an avid-coffee drinker, I was impressed with the sheer volume of coffee shops. I could have spent the entire duration of my trip at Pike Place, and I almost did. I’ll be back in February, so we’ll see if it’s as magical the second time around!

  164. Cat

    Haha, this is hilarious! Kinda has the same tone as the “Chuck Norris Facts.” ;)

  165. I liked this post long before Freshly Pressed found it. What do I win?

  166. I’m still laughing. You ripped Seattle a new ass, but man, your pictures are freakin awesome.

    val

    http://valentinedefrancis.wordpress.com

  167. Seattle gave the world, Soundgarden and Steve Largent….end of conversation.

  168. You may be right, my friend…
    Great shots!

  169. Love your pictures of Seattle! Very cool city…never been but want to visit.

  170. What an awesome tribute to Seattle…

    — In Seattle and luvin’ it

  171. Wonderful! Thank you for this. We just spent New Years Eve in Seattle and had a splendid time!

  172. MakeSomethingMondays

    I’ve never been to Seattle. I will put it on my To-Do List. It looks amazing!

  173. Rae

    Haha! Seattle is nice, but I’ll never consent that it’s better than San Francisco.

  174. Last August I left Seattle after 15 years – back to Chicago. What the hell was I thinking?! Lived in NW Capitol Hill, worked in Eastlake – walked to work everyday with a Space Needle, Olympics, Queen Anne, seaplane, Lake Union, houseboats and sailboats backdrop. Sometimes, here on the prairie I squint my eyes and imagine clouds are mountains. I actually go to Starbucks here, never did in Seattle – makes me feel close.
    I’m coming back to you soon my love! You’re in my bones. This is a lovely (and also for me, somewhat heartbreaking) post.

    • Moth

      I had the same feeling after I left Seattle (lived there for seven years) and moved back to New England. I actually had dreams about Seattle I missed it so much. Corny, I know, but it really was like a heart-breaking split with a lover.

  175. Wow this is amazing! Your photos are just gorgeous and not to mention I loved reading all of your captions :D

    I never really thought about Seattle as a place I’d like to visit but you sure changed my mind!

    As for some hometown glory, the first (and only thing right now actually) I can think of is that Kate Winslet is from here…? How did I do?

  176. That EJ

    Haha! Genius post. Great photos too. Brilliant!!

  177. LMFAO…i like this post and found it entertaining, even though I’ve never been to Seattle and would never bother going there (a place where it rains every day?No thank you!!)

    …BTW, my hometown boasts a 7-11 with a waterfront view, a main street that ends in a harborfront with mega-yachts, one traffic light and one of the best-restored collection of colonial houses in the country. :)

  178. tawnymichelle

    And that is just the tip of the iceberg… Seattle’s amazing-ness doesn’t stop there!

  179. LMAO!! Seattle is rad. And so are you.

  180. Thanks for spoiling the Seattle secret….REALLY, folks – it rains here 364 days of the year…these photos must have all been taken on that one nice day…

  181. Your town does seem better than mine.

  182. This is class, and anywhere with a good Starbucks beats my home town :)

  183. Lovely pictures. Especially the one of the bridge. Even though I might never move there, I might consider visiting Seattle.

  184. I am from the Pacific Northwest…I love seeing beautiful photos of the greatest city in the world! :)

  185. Pingback: More evidence of Seattle’s greatness « In a Nutshell

  186. Beautiful, yes. 29 years of cold and wet was enough. Hail SoCal!

  187. lalarussaland

    Read this about 5 times and I still LOVE it.

  188. nearlynormalized

    Why is it in December-May most of the people I met in PV, Mexico are from the Seattle area? Is it the weather—Phuque the Mountains.

  189. I was born & bred in that Emerald City…….you captured it very nicely….almost enough to make me move back home…..from the East Coast………..

    Great pic’s! Is that St. pat’s Cathedral? Is there really a Starbucks there? My cousin is the head Priest at St. Pat’s….hmmm…..must have been included in the renovation of 1991..

  190. ALL DAY SUNSETS?!?!?! WHAT! My hometown is boring, but that’s only because I’ve spent 15 years here. I see myself moving to Minneapolis some day.

  191. I’ve been to Seattle. It rains too much there, but there was this little take out place by the market. It made little envelopes of yummy goodness so decadent, I would live in a box in the rain to eat them everyday. The were kinda like a calzone only good. Filled with ANYTHING from sweet to savory. Damn I wish I knew what they were called!

  192. The only problem is that it’s not in the South LOL. Gotta say Asheville has got something on you. But this is an awesome post – your tone is hilarious and the pics are breathtaking.

  193. Any big city with lots of civilization beats my toenail of a small hometown. The place is so frustrating, I renamed the backward southern Wisconsin town in the horror stories I write about home. Read my Horrid Tales of Wister Town – http://goo.gl/nC7f

  194. millodello

    I don’t have a home town and though you have made an excellent case for Seattle I wish my home town was Buffalo NY. But if nickels were still made of wood then Seattle for sure.

  195. Seattle looks great – wonderful pics. Congrats on being FP.
    However, in Chicago, one day we noticed our river was running the wrong direction. So, we reversed its flow. Take that Seattle.

  196. Pingback: I Wish I Wrote This «

  197. Just a pity the Space Needle costs $19.

  198. Ah yes, I just love my home town of Seattle. It truly is perfect in every way- especially the traffic and weather.

  199. This is amazing. I’m from Oregon (now living in South Carolina, don’t ask me why because I can’t come up with a reasonable explanation) and I miss the Pacific Northwest every day.

  200. Seattle sounds really great. I live in Phoenix (that’s in Arizona). We get our pizzas by camel.

  201. Joe Labriola

    Wow, beautiful compilation!

  202. Is Chuck Norris from Seattle?

  203. After looking at your photos, okay, I believe you – your hometown is perhaps better than mine. ;p

  204. Definitely a candidate for http://EachCityBlogged.wordpress.com – follow me back dude! – TBR

  205. Lovely pix– reminds me of what I liked. They were glad to let me go though because I whined ceaselessly about the rain (I was there in a completely non drought period) first for three years in Portland and then three more in Seattle and the damp and the rain and the grey and the rain….

  206. meyouandpoppy

    Seattle is only cool because Bruce Lee is there, it is made cooler by the tragic fact that Brandon is also there. Seattle is is the Chuck Norris of cities because Bruce & Brandon are there. If the Lees were not in residence, Seattle would be the Daniel Laruso of cities.

  207. SHUSH!! You’re breaking the one rule being a PNW native, you’re telling everyone how awesome it is! :) I can’t wait to move back!

  208. Yeah, well, my hometown is home to a unique species of prehistoric insect. Which is now extinct.

    Congratulations on FP, fantastic pictures by the way. I think you’ve just put Seattle on my “Would Like To Visit” list…

  209. ghostswrit

    Love it! Maybe I’ll move to Seattle. Sometime.

  210. Fair dinkum! As an Australian with no ties to any US cities, I have to say this post has made me want to visit Seattle. Highly amusing captions!

  211. Your city pictures are fantastic! really nice :)

  212. oh screw you! thanx for reminding me to get out of the boonies lol

  213. 380 responses, and not one mention of Frasier Crane

  214. Christina Cronk

    This is flippin awesome! I have always loved Seattle, and am currently saving to move there. Florida sucks.

  215. Never thought I’d say this. Texas bows to Seattle’s superiority. And you can have a third of our starbucks back.

  216. I love Seattle
    there have a very famous movie “Sleepless in Seattle”

  217. I do love my hometown of Washington D.C., but Seattle takes a close second. Giant troll under a road versus a dude on a horse.

  218. Washington D.C. is so awesome, it takes it’s name from two important dudes: George Washington and Christopher Columbus

  219. I grew up in Seattle and then moved to Ithaca. I felt like I was in a double universe but without the mountains and Starbucks everywhere I looked. Seattle rocks. If all you know about Seattle is, “Doesn’t it rain there all the time?” we did that on purpose. Oh, the pictures made me miss my hometown!

  220. lol I love your sense of humor. I could have fun sitting on a bench with you watching the rest of the world. I would love to hear what you come up with. My husband was never short on words and could turn the worst into laughing.

  221. redsanctuary

    Those are some great pictures!:)

  222. those pictures are spectacular

  223. I’ve been to Seattle several times & I absolutely agree that your hometown is better than mine. No fight there.

    I will mention however that my hometown is the winter resting place for bald eagles and we invented toasted ravioli…..so at least that’s something.

  224. !00% I totally and completely agree. Seattle is the best place in the world, no doubt about it. REPRESENT!

  225. Well, I was there only last month… it is NICE, I will give you that. I think you had to run around a LOT in order to get all those pictures on the ONE sunny day you had last year… The mountains are beautiful… the city is wonderful… the Public Market and fish shop was a BLAST! Would love to live there just to shop there every day! BUT, we have FOUR (4)… count them, 4 seasons… with fall, winter with snow, spring with some rain… AND SUMMER with SUN! YES, we have sun… for four months of the year, and then some to spare. You have spring… spring rain… spring clouds… spring moist air and soil ALL YEAR round… not for me… Would love to visit often… could not live there.

    BUT, I will give you this… it is very beautiful!

  226. Haha this was a fun read. Seattle may have my hometown beat. Especially with a library like that.

  227. Thank you for sharing! I like the history lesson with your photos.

    I don’t know much about Seattle, and your photos are great for a look into the city.

  228. Andromache

    Great photography, your captions a phenom. im a fan :)

  229. We’ve enjoyed Seattle. There’s one eyesore: the I-5 cuts across Seattle’s waterfront. This is why Vancouver, BC is alot more scenic. :)

  230. Hilarious! I just moved to Renton a few months ago and I still have much to learn. My favorite line: “This is a totem we erected to protect us from Courtney Love.”

  231. love seattle!! you tell em dam straight hahaha

  232. I always wondered if people want to get arrested to stay on the 5th Avenue?

  233. I lived in Seattle for 14 years – love your photos, love your captions even more!

  234. Pingback: The travel bug – it’s a disease « RUBYSONGBIRD

  235. I’ll give you Grey’s Anatomy but you clearly have never been Toronto. C’mon, you can walk around the edge of our tallest free-standing structure. Bam.

  236. Lia

    This blog posting is perfectly done! Love the captions. Sold me. :P

  237. Screddy Lee

    Seattle is superior. Get used to it. 5 billion Scandahoovians can’t be wrong, ya sure, ya betcha!

  238. WOW beautiful! I actually visited there when I was young, but too young to remember anything. One day I’ll go again and compare it with my hometown, Seoul, Korea.

  239. LOL Bill, clap on the sun again :)

  240. Excellent read and loved the pictures! Thanks from Sarah in Seattle!!!

  241. I notice that all of your photos were taken when the sun was shining. What did you do the other 364 days of the year?

  242. Great shots/ You’ve inspried me to do the same thing in Sydney:)

  243. Hilarious! But you do know that no one represents like Brooklynites do, don’t you?

  244. You have captured some best photos of the PNW! I just moved to FL from WA and I miss Seattle dearly. This post makes me miss home. Thanks 4 sharing :)

  245. This is wonderful! Beautiful job on the captions. Awesome pics; but my friend, you can keep it. I like most of my days to be sunny days, not overcast.

  246. JL

    I have always wanted to live in Seattle. This makes me want to go even more. Although I do find the title provoking me to challenge you to a “Toronto Is Better Than Your Hometown” post, but I don’t think I have time… >.<

  247. Miss Molly

    Hilarious! As Seattle native (actually a Bellevue native – GASP, I know… but they still let me into Seattle – I was born there after all) I really enjoyed your post. I live in Juneau, Alaska now… it is pretty hard to beat as a place to live but we don’t tell anyone because we want them to come visit – we just don’t want them to stay. Thanks for the laugh!

  248. Reblogged this on Each City Blogged! and commented:
    Reblogging to share the photos (warning: some colourful language).

  249. annb04

    Love home!!! <3

  250. Just saw this again on the WordPress homepage! And it’s been cycled through FB by several friends. Love it every time!

  251. very nice post, the photos are really cool.

  252. Superb photographs, superb narration, superbly creative blog. Very well done. Love to read your other blogs and love to follow you religiously.

  253. Gotta love Seattle. Beautiful. Green. FUN.

  254. Way to represent the Pacific NW! Though personally, I feel my hometown is the center of the cultural universe…not my fault noone has heard of it.

  255. You know I just want to say this was a truly amazing piece, and it reminds me that much more why I want to live here forever…

  256. Pingback: Photos of Seattle? (Vancouver, Mercer Island: live, moving, things to do) - Seattle and King County Suburbs - City-Data Forum

  257. Great Pics…… I wanna visit your city, and I want to do it quickly….. :)

    Thanks for Sharing….

  258. I love this! Denmark is next on my list of places to visit now.

  259. Pingback: Oh hey I have a blog… | Sometimes She Wanders

  260. Alexandra

    all those pictures are amazing — yes, your hometown is better than mine!

    -Alexandra

  261. Andy

    Have any of you lived in Seattle? I was relocated there for work and stayed in Ballard / Capitol Hill for my 3 years. These pictures must have been taken in summer, as a majority of the year it’s overcast and light rain. In my time there, I made some good friends. For the most part, people sucked. I assume the weather had something to do with it.

    Personally, I think Portland is a way cooler city. Admittedly, I’m a people person, and I LOVE cities where people are laid back / chill / friendly. Seattle is just too big for those “chill” people to surface. For the most part, the size and weather has rendered Seattle a sad sad city. I remember my first week in town I went to a bar / restaurant and asked for recommendations for a small portion, as I was not starving. The server told me “you only eat what you want to eat”. Then he left to help someone else. Like I just asked for an explanation of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. Small things like this would happen more often than I care to remember. Eventually you become numb to it and just go about your business. If you want the “emerald” beauty of Seattle without the shitty attitudes, head to Portland. Beware though for Portland has many, many homeless.

  262. Reblogged this on puttingitinwriting and commented:
    All my fellow Pacific Northwesterners………awesome!

  263. Former Poop-filled Seattle Citizen. Now I am not poop because I left.

    I lived in Seatte. I was a city full of poop. People had poop inside their heads and they drank poop and worked at Poop. All of their poop was green and wet and sticky. Seattle sure knows how to poop on a Saturday night!

  264. Eva Mae Flores

    Haven’t been to Seattle, yet. Thanks for the tour and the laughs!

  265. Wow lovely photos. Although NYC is the best city in the world :D

  266. Lyndsey

    Ok – to this blog post is becoming something of a personal joke. Now whenever something great happens in Seattle, I think, what would RottenInDenmark have said about that? As in: In Seattle we don’t have snow. We have a holy second coming of Jesus replete with horsemen and seals. Don’t mess with Snowmageddon.

  267. Pingback: Quora

  268. Paul Goode

    I love this and hate this post. It reminds me of everything that is good and beautiful about my hometown and that where I am now just doesn’t compare – not even a little. If you are from Seattle, do not for any reason move to St Louis, MO.

  269. I was in Seattle once. It WAS pretty badass…

  270. maryfollowsthelamb

    Way back in the 80s I was in Seattle and it WAS fantastic. I remember a park overlooking the sound that had restrooms made of dark wood and natural stone that fit so perfectly with the surroundings, not cold and jarring. The view from the cliff was spectacular (yeah, I know, hard to find a view in Seattle that isn’t spectacular). Thank you for the pictures. They brought back a lot of good memories.

  271. This is by far the best post written about Seattle, EVER! I have never written anything so splendid. Hats off to you, fellow Seattlite!

  272. Pingback: Why Seattle is the Best « Little Seattle Observationist

  273. Awesome thread and hilarious post\thread! But … no mention of the underground?! (No not the night club). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seattle_Underground

  274. Travel This

    Reblogged this on TRAVEL THIS and commented:
    Freakin’ FANTASTIC! Northwest represent!

  275. I live long enough in Seattle to hear all the bullshit people say about the rain, the snow and got all depressed about the weather but they stay.

  276. Pingback: Is the Northwest stranger than elsewhere? New comedy show has us wondering | MAGIC HOTELS

  277. Pingback: The 7×7 Link Award & the Versatile Blogger Award (Part Deux) « lostnchina

  278. This really makes me want to move to Seattle..nevermind NYC.

  279. morganarose

    Seattle is absolutely the best place to live! I visited it once and fell in love and I just stayed in the city. The food is wonderful, the culture is amazing and the people are like none other.

  280. Lahbert

    I’m from Tacoma and hate Seattle. But only because my GF lives there and I have to drive an hour every day to see her. God knows she isn’t moving to T-town and my kids live south… Everything else pretty much rocks.

  281. Up here in Seattle we got so tired of seeing those incessant “Portlandia” birds everywhere that we decided to take action. Check out http://www.PutAPlaneOnIt.com and https://www.facebook.com/PutAPlaneOnIt. Go Jet City!

  282. Pingback: Dear Seattle: A Love Letter from a Native Daughter « Dear Mr. Postman

  283. Dave Savage

    Yes sir,
    That’s my place.
    Sav

  284. AT

    This is biased, I live here and have never heard of some of the things!

  285. I would have to agree with everything you said :) There is no better place!

  286. EJ

    In order for a city to be truly interesting you have GOT to be able to list more than two places of interest! That sad space needle & Pike Place FARMER’S MARKET (EVERY CITY HAS ONE OF THOSE) just don’t cut it, sorry!!

  287. Sue

    These are amazing pics. I’ll be moving to the area in June, can’t wait

  288. tafta

    If North Korea decides to nuke USA, Seattle is the first target!

  289. Pingback: Seattle Suburbs Best Places to Live - REal Talk

  290. Seattle is like an overpriced, less friendly version of Portland where tech workers with asperger’s syndrome go to make their fortune.

  291. Reblogged this on Technodread and th Curse of Tomorrow and commented:
    Seattle is objectively superior to the place you grew up.

  292. Melanie

    Fantastic blog/pics/comments!
    It’s lost some of its innocence over the past 30 years, but Seattle has kept its sense of humor and still rules the planet!

  293. Pingback: Sun-less in Seattle… but the days are getting longer! | French Girl in Seattle

  294. Pingback: Sun-less in Seattle… but the days are getting longer!

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