Daily Archives: May 16, 2007

…a Website I love and hate equally

As lame as I am to do this again, Overheard in New York's Wednesday One-Liners are rapidly becoming the staring-at-a-screen highlight of my week. Here's a smattering from today's batch:

Hipster: When I was little and went to Sunday school my teacher told us we all have a little piece of God inside of us, and I thought, I hope I have his thumb.
–4th & Bowery

Guy on cell: Oh my god, you are so interesting. Someday our bodies will connect like God intended — in anal poundage.

Hipster: Have you ever seen a fat girl in spandex on weed?
–Union Square

Professor: … And all of this relates to Freud's concept of the super Eggo.
–St. John's University

Dude to chick: On a scale from one to cookie… you're a seven.
–Central Park

Black teen to his friends: Yo, I read the Bible nine times, and that shit contradicted itself like a motherfucker!
–Broadway & Steinway, Astoria

Woman on cell: He told me it wasn't good for the diges– uh… digesticle.
–49th & 11th

Girl: I am dating two different guys with kids and no one will take me to see Harry Potter. Now that's fucked up.
–Eatery, 9th Avenue

Man in stall, struggling: Damn you, Taco Bell!
–Bathroom, John Jay College

Girl in stall: Uggghhh! Fuck… [Panting] Fuck!
–Bathroom, Fordham Law School

Guy at urinal: Oh yeah, son! Yeah, I am dominating this shit!
–Library Bathroom, Fordham University

I like the last three because they have a theme, see?

And this is from the 'classics' section

Girl #1: So when was your first kiss?
Girl #2: My 17th birthday.
Girl #1: How about your first time making out?
Girl #2: Also my 17th birthday.
Girl #1: …first blowjob?
Girl #2: This is awkward. 17th birthday, again.
Girl #1: How about when you lost your virginity?
Girl #2: 17th.
Girl #1: How about the first time you —
Girl #2: I know what you're about to ask, and the answer is "my 17th birthday" again.
Girl #1: God damn! What the hell did you do for your 18th birthday?
–R train

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Quote of the day

"Sigmund Freud was the victim of his own poetry, which was so vivid that he took it to be a map of reality." — Clive James, 'Cultural Amnesia'

This quote could also describe Michel Foucault, Carl Jung, Joseph Smith, L. Ron Hubbard, or or anyone else who has become famous by putting forth a metaphor for human consciousness without realizing that they were making it up. Anyone out there know of a good Danish online bookstore, so I can get ahold of this book?

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