In Continent: Pictures of Europe’s Boringest Cities

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For the last two weeks I was on an epic work trip.

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To Geneva, Brussels, London and The Hague. This is the ceiling of the UN!

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You know that movie that you liked when you were a kid, and you watch it now, and it sucks, and it makes you hate it, and it makes you hate your younger self for ever liking it? That’s exactly how I feel about Geneva.

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Look how obnoxiously beautiful it is, the whole country is an elaborate commercial for LL Bean.

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Even the statues are look passive-aggressive, like, ‘oh you only have one watch?’

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Next up: Brussels! The only people who hate it more than the tourists are the people who live there.

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The city’s neighborhoods are either dioramas for tourists or slums, nothing in between. Walking long distances is like going from Narnia into Mordor.

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Hoping Belgium had more to offer, I took a daytrip to Gent, which is Flemish for disappointment. I ate canal fish and waited for the rain to stop. The local residents have been doing little else for 600 years.

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I did go to a great art museum, though, where I got shouted at for taking pictures of a quotidian machine and a projected image.

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I have no idea what these signs mean.

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Did I mention that I’m a 30-year-old man?

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Later that week, I went to a meeting at the European parliament. The wallpaper symbolizes how you can all be the same color, yet still not mix.

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This building is only two stories tall, I’m just that short.

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Europeans have to color their cities to make you forget how little alcohol is in that hot wine.

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London is only photogenic twice a year. The queen alerts all her subjects by text message.

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Here’s some graffiti that I thought looked kind of like me. Especially the buildings coming out of the face. 

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The Shard was just completed, but it’s being torn down next year because it makes it harder for the pigeons to see St. Paul’s.

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Two weeks later, I’m back in Berlin, same as I left it: Cold, grey and covered in cocaine. Thank God. 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Berlin, Personal, Pictures, Travel, United Kingdom

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