Stuff That Happens When You Go to London For the Olympics

You are struck at the emptiness of London’s rotisserie attractions

You are bored by modern art, and the indoors generally.

You marvel up close at the brontosaurus legs and tyrannosaur arms of Olympic cyclists.

You remark that London is more pleasant when all its rich have left.

You watch lady weightlifting in Hyde Park, and fail to make any out-loud comment that doesn’t come off sexist, classist, racist or looksist.

You are simultaneously consoled and unnerved by the ubiquity of Britain’s security apparatus.

You make normal-sized chairs appear larger.

You appreciate that, between colonialism and the 2012 Olympic Games, there were about 50 years there where British patriotism wasn’t OK.

You join the throng, expecting elbowing multitudes

But find London’s temporary epicenter strangely serene.

You display your own nation’s flag incorrectly.

You wait for fucking ages to get this shot, and it doesn’t even turn out that great.

You conclude from limited experience that Olympic athletes are small, gregarious and bewildered in person.

You notice that the Olympic park planners got the flag proportions all wrong.

You didn’t know they played basketball in Tunisia. After seeing them play the USA, you’re not sure they want to anymore.

Leaving the park, you speculate what this this area was once, and what it will become.

You never find out. And for a minute, you don’t even wonder.

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3 Comments

Filed under London, Pictures, Travel, United Kingdom

3 responses to “Stuff That Happens When You Go to London For the Olympics

  1. Literal answers department: The Olympic Park was previously a run-down industrial employment zone and collection of surplus railway land. It was a rather dispiriting random collection of ugly postwar sheds, electricity pylons, scrapyards and car parks – together with some allotments and informal uses that also got swept away. Businesses were relocated. New homes will occupy some of the site one day. The main parklands, riverscapes and stadia will stay. Hopefully someone, somewhere, eventually, will buy/lease/operate those shiny new sports venues. Go to http://www.londonlegacy.co.uk/legacy-plans/

    • Scott

      No one, nowhere will do any such thing. The world’s finances are in the dumper and the space was in the exact state that people demanded of it. Only now it will serve as a conspicuously neon-stained reminder of economic blight, rather than the entirely unnoticed version of that role.

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