I left America in 2005. I don’t know when I started telling people that I would never move back, but about two or three years ago, I realized that I meant it.
Work
You know all that shit you hear about Europeans being indolent socialist sponges? It’s fucking Bible true. Europeans work fewer hours every week and get more vacation every year. They are harder to fire, so when their bosses ask them to do unreasonable shit like work on a weekend, they say ‘no’ and the conversation ends.
For a foreigner, integration means becoming just like them. If I ever move back to the States, I would have to find a job where I was paid a wage in exchange for my labor, rather than just my presence. Even if I wanted to move back, I’d be homeless in a matter of weeks.
Transport
Biking in Berlin isn’t as Cadillac-smooth as it was in Copenhagen, but it’s fundamentally a safe, feasible way to get where I need to be. On the days when it’s not possible to bike (snow drift, flat tire, urban riot), a comprehensive public transport system takes me within walking distance.
This means I haven’t sat in a traffic jam or looked for a parking space since Star Wars Episode III was in theaters. The parts of my brain that managed those things are now devoted exclusively to cheese and wine pairings.
Food
Again, the stereotypes about European food are all actually facts. It fucking is better here. Europe has bakeries like America has Starbuckses. The coffee is blacker, the fruit is fruitier and all the scientists are too busy eating to genetically modify anything.
People think food service is slow and rude in Europe. This is incorrect. The meals are just so good, the waiters are reluctant to give them away.
Healthcare
I don’t think any country has successfully divorced health from income, but at least it’s less blatant here than in the US. When I inevitably get hit by a bus, I’ll get repaired, I won’t get an invoice.
Americans bitching about socialized medicine is like starving African kids bitching about the new Facebook layout. After seven years in three European countries, I wish bureaucrats would find more of my life to socialize.
Socializing
Being a foreigner is awesome. When I do something a few standard deviations weirder than the median, people go ‘he’s weird because he’s foreign’ rather than ‘he’s weird because he’s an asshole’. Being treated this way isn’t a privilege I’m going to give up just so I can go back to speaking the same language as everyone else.
Government
Guantanamo, drone strikes, enhanced interrogation, too big to fail, more with less, flavored milk, the TSA, the filibuster, the Bush tax cuts, the death penalty, Sarah Fucking Palin, bankruptcy reform, wardrobe malfunction, Twilight–this isn’t a culture that represents my values.
I’m not actually making the argument that Europe is better than the US. A lot of people prefer driving to walking, libertarianism to a nanny state and getting rich to paying taxes. That’s totally fine. But at this point, it’s totally not me.
I’ve lived in Sydney, London, Copenhagen and now Berlin, and none of them are perfect. I don’t want to stay here forever. I don’t want to not want to move home. I just know that, on every dimension I care about, living in the States would mean a sacrifice I’m not willing to make.
Part of me will always be ready buy a one-way ticket back to America. I just have to make sure America’s ready to have me too.
I have had these same thoughts, but being a “foreigner” is also a privilege afforded to you by the German government. You may stay as long as you are tolerated doing shitty jobs, in a lot of cases. The European lifestyle is not just up for grabs and open for the taking. Unfortunately, borders, papers, and passports are still vital issues to this discussion.
very refreshing – thank you for your input, I have been following your blog for a few weeks now, what initially took you out of the usa? I have been out since the beginning of 2010 – with a brief re entrance to the usa in which I vowed to myself I would not do again. It is nice to see there are others out there who have set out to do the same. Did you like Copenhagen? Did Denmark live up to one of the happiest countries in the world?
“… people go ‘he’s weird because he’s foreign’ rather than ‘he’s weird because he’s an asshole’. Being treated this way isn’t a privilege I’m going to give up just so I can go back to speaking the same language as everyone else.”
Amazing and so true. I totally took advantage of being foreign and confused when I was living in Europe.
Northern Europe has many advantages over life in the USA, I can see, in terms of social protection. But how much longer can we afford it all? The debt pile is about to fall over on top of us, and I think – unlike the US – European countries will be much slower to resurface.
I completely agree. As Americans, it is a wonderful and tremendously en-lighting experience to see the world and live outside our cocoon. On that note, I have been living overseas in Europe since 1997, I married a European who preferred living in Europe for work purposes as mention before, there are more rights and advantages for people here, one of them is holiday pay, about 30 days of holiday plus extra Official days, all paid, if you are laid off normally under the circumstances there would be at least 3 months paid; and the 13th month is also very attractive. The Social Health and Meds here in Belgium is great and mostly everyone is deserving of some kind of coverage. You take one thing for another, hospitals are not like in the U.S. to me they look old, some rundown and staff and Drs. are ok. I believe we pay for what we get in the U.S. in any case all being good, but there is a lot of socialist idealism for some, I am a woman who became widowed and have a daughter, well once my husband died, things turn all around. Couldn’t find a place to rent, more so rent to me” a single mother, and every time I have to deal with a man, I have found myself being taken for a fool or being patronized which on this day and age and specially that is not a third world country where “machismo” is not supposed to be prevalent, I have had my share; even though, I am well educated; I hold a degree in Finance and Commercial law, I owned and managed a business in Houston for many years prior coming to live in Europe and become a ” Day to Day Home Manager” as I like to call myself, so my cup is full now. I have realized that no where is perfect, but for sure I know that my rights will be respected in the United States or else, Your voice can and will be heard one way or another. Here a truly feel as an immigrant not because I never wanted to integrate within but because they go out of their way to make sure you are one!! As if I came to this country to take advantage of their system (like many other that they admit here and they do in fact take advantage) I just want to provide a home, food and education to my daughter with out being such a big deal, as if this was too much to ask. I will find the way to get back and start all over again in the U.S. at least there even if is “shit” I know it won’t be forever. things will be done; people somehow still stick together, here they don’t it is pretty much “You are on your own buddy” mentality for everything!!! and my favorite, “you are always taken as if you are a crook or thief and guilty and then they will see if you are innocent”; the last straw for me was when trying to buy a TV on credit, they guy said to me ” you cannot buy on credit because you are just a “resident’! (never before ) and continue to say.. “You can leave any time and never pay”, I told him with a total surprise that I have been living in Belgium for over 15 year, pay high taxes and all and He is suggesting that I would leave???!!! I said to myself, why would I have to deal with such ignorant idiots and sob’s when all I do in my life is on the straight; I decided that I would do what ever it takes to move out! so on that note. Good luck to all that love being away from the U.S. when all is good , it doesn’t matter where you are, when the shit hits the fan, it sucks every where” ….
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This is why we tracked down the paperwork for my daughter Sair’s Irish grandfather, and got her an EU passport.
I’m pushing 60 and pretty much settled, but Sair and her girlfriend (Australian) needn’t, and probably shouldn’t, settle in the US.
Love your travel photo’s. Been to 36 countries and I appreciate the view of the world you have. Only thing, as someone in the financial markets I can tell you the lifestyle the rest of the world maintains is unfortunately coming to an end. Not right away…but, next 5 years all the things you like about Europe and other countries will begin to be taken away. It’s kind of sad really….people complain about the US debt to GDP but, Europe, Australia and Asia have been borrowing money to maintain this lifestyle. There is no money in the financial markets to continue at this pace. So, have fun and enjoy it while you can. Safe travels! Fan Club (Seattle, WA)
“After seven years in three European countries, I wish bureaucrats would find more of my life to socialize.”
I made the mistake of opting out of the public health insurance system in Germany, and taking out private insurance. Big mistake.
“If I ever move back to the States, I would have to find a job where I was paid a wage in exchange for my labor, rather than just my presence. Even if I wanted to move back, I’d be homeless in a matter of weeks.”
You’ve been away from the United States for too long. “Indolent socialist sponge” doesn’t have quite the stigma it once had.
“Guantanamo, drone strikes, enhanced interrogation, too big to fail, more with less, flavored milk, the TSA, the filibuster, the Bush tax cuts, the death penalty, Sarah Fucking Palin, bankruptcy reform, wardrobe malfunction, Twilight–this isn’t a culture that represents my values.”
French Mirage fighter jets in Libya, Norwegian troops in Afghanistan, Mi5, we used to be big, we’ll make do with less now, Solo, police with automatic weapons in Stuttgart, the European Commission, Sarkozy, hate speech laws, Helle Fucking Thorning-Schmidt, the Euro, wardrobe malfunction, Eurovision.
Yeah, that’s way better.
I am now in the dilema of back to the U.S., I got married to a European and sad to say he passed 3 years ago, left me and my daughter almost homeless and with no family here totally alone, after trying to pull myself together and find some kinds of living means, I have to say honestly that I want and need to be back home, all has not been ok here, I have feared of no freedom, everytime I have to move to another house, the police have to come and check that is “You” who is living there, etc; and other bureaucratic BS which after so many years living here, I have come to the realization that I still want for my daughter and I to stick it out back in the U.S. than here in Europe; please don’t get me wrong, Europe is fantastic on social benefits, foods, style of living(when you have the money) when you don’t; it sucks even more than in America, you truly feel poor, and believe me I feel I have a basic decent income, but quality of life is not the same for us anymore; I am and will always feel like a “foreigner” here and the fact that even when I rented a small house in the very picturesque town of Bruges”, people treat you as “single mother” as if we have gone back to the ’50 to say the least. I want my daughte to have the Freedom, we all take for granted and have the open opportunities for what ever she wants to do, here even wanting to be self-employed is ridiculous, taxes are crazy and the opportunities are slim, I have a degree in Business Administration and finance, speak 2 languages and learning 2 more, but as I was a homemaker for nearly 17 years and no work experience, here I would have to go and clean houses or clean hotels which that is what a lot of people tell me, it is so crazy to think that I am living in a European country and not in “Cuba”. I don’t want to die here!.
Wow, I’m really sorry about your husband Irma.
Your post spoke to me.
Although my husband is alive, I feel the same way about getting my daughter out in terms of freedom and other offerings in the US.
It’s been a big trade off for me, giving that up for the social and otherwise benefits — food too as I am a health nut.
I feel like if you don’t have a big career that translates (and trust me, even doctors can’t always practice even though they hold reputable degrees from other countries) or a portable career, you end up like you said, cleaning hotels or worse, teaching English.
Although I have a portable career (I am a professional musician), since the birth of my daughter I haven’t wanted nor can I feasibly tour in the same way. Where does that leave me? Like you, mostly a housewife and in my case, teaching English. Something although English is my native tongue (big whoop), I am not only just ok at, very unhappy doing.
Don’t get me wrong, I am a hard worker, but I also don’t believe in drudging through life doing shit you don’t want to do, waiting to die. No thanks.
I also don’t want to die here (I am in Austria), but that struggle between going home to be with my culture (where in some ways I just am more comfortable — also where my family is) and have the freedoms I do not get here versus the well-oiled social system here is hard.
On one hand, it’s much safer here for my daughter, a good place to raise a child. A place where a child actually stays a child longer than the average American kid. For example, a 15 year old in America is like a college kid. A 15 year where I am (in the alps) is more like 13. Call me crazy, but I prefer that any day. Life is short — let them be kids.
A place where the girls don’t all grow up with major eating disorders if they aren’t kidnapped first. Yes, I just said that. That’s how freaked out I am by my own country these days.
Will I ever go back? I have no idea.
Like you Irma, if my husband passed, a big yes — 100%.
If not, I just do not know.
I struggle with it every day.
My husband would leave in an instant. He’s from here and even he wants to go. Not because it’s awful, but because the trade offs for the well-oiled social system and more are huge and I don’t just mean taxes here. I’m talking the feeling of smallness. The feeling you can’t better yourself or do anything yourself really. That feeling that the government is watching EVERY move. Hell, not just the government — the people! Germanic cultures love their rules.
Honestly, I don’t know how much longer I can take it. I may just break one day and drag my family (we have a toddler and a dog) to America and if I do, I suppose only then will I know if it was a mistake or not.
Then again, I go back and forth with feeling like being here IS a mistake, so there’s that.
You know, feeling like the you want what’s on the other side, even if it’s just a little. A little curiosity can kill that cat.
Thank You Chris for taking time to read my point of view. I still struggle with the fact of going back or staying, but now I do feel that I prefer to take my chance there than here; it has been an uphill battle here ever since and even till today. I am making plans and doing my homework of how much is needed to return as it will all come down to me, financially, emotionally, etc; although my daughter is pretty keen on moving back, there isn’t a lot of encouragement for kids here, meaning in Bruges, I don’t know how to explain, because we have lived in different countries, we have a different perspective where we have been, lifestyle,etc although now our lifestyle changed 360°; anyway, I want to share and teach my daughter of all possibilities around here. The United States have some good points and it is what you make of it; just like anywhere in the world. BUT on that note, I cannot and still not understand a lot of the mentality here which conflicts with my own views and opinions and most importantly “ethics” ; I hold a degree, have been self-employed and business owner and manager for a long time before arriving here, I just became “day to day home manager”; I would not do any other job less than what I am competent to do, not because I feel high and mighty, but because I already have ‘ been there done that’. My advise to you is to make sure that all important affairs are taken care and with your knowledge; like life insurance, bank administration, any credit that you have yourself or together; I will give you an example, when Marc passed away, the banks immediately blocked both our accounts, one that we shared and one on “my own”, I could not withdraw money, or do any payments without having to go to the bank and “ask permission” they would do the payments for me, I never thought ever in my life that I could not access my own money on my own terms!!!, another thing was that all debt accts under my husband’s name solely became “my” responsibility!! I was not a co-signer, nor my name was in any document and yet , I had to pay all !!! that doesn’t happen in Texas!!! also, I found out that my husband had cancelled his life insurance policy after his death about 4 months before without my knowledge”" why??? I will never know !! so many important things like I mention has given me the courage to consider going back “home”.
I moved to Quebec, Canada for a year and had to repatriot after a year and a half. Now I am back in Seattle. QC is a pretty socialist province – the weather was tough but there were so many things I loved about it. The people don’t identify as much with what they do, there are so many low-cost events and art. And people sit and enjoy meals and each other. I felt no need to buy all the latest stuff.
Ps. Copenhagen is by-far one of my favorite places! Glad to have found this blog, fellow Seattlelite, expat.
Don’t ever say never but I feel you. I am not a national, so it is different but I know how it feels. I have no intentions of going back. I miss my friends dearly but leaving after a decade I have no regrets… living in the US was a great experience and taught me a lot as a person but also it gave me low level education but high student loans and made me workaholic. I worked 75 hours a week for the company that seemed to care about their employees and had lots of transparency but then the economy sank, they laid off us as they would care less. My severence package included one month pay – that is how much we were worth to them after all that unpaid overtime we put in. Living in the US also made me ignorant of what is happening in the world and my sense of geography started to deteriorate. It is quite embarrasing when meeting people from all around the world. I used to think that I speak and write English very well until I started my higher education in Europe (in English) and realised that my dictionary is way more limited than any well educated European who never lived in an English speaking country! And I only speak 2 languages when most of my classmates are fluent in 3 or 4! No place is perfect but the American dream… is only left in the Hollywood movies that are nothing to do with the reality. And I don’t want my kids be part of it.
Oh, if only reasonableness and character would become commonplace everywhere. Treating people like total crap has unfortunately become the American Way. It’s very sad. I’ll probably get threatened for even saying that. From lack of education to working people into the ground, from aggressive football rapist culture to the hypocrisy of buying everything Made in China from pseudo-patriotic Wal-Mart. I just don’t know. I wish more Americans would do foreign exchange programs when they are in high school.
The yellow crop in the German field is rapeseed, not grapeseed. The name, considered too distressing to the general public, was changed to canola, as it is also a huge crop in Canada. Canola oil sucks. Don’t use it.
Anyway, thanks for blogging – I’m enjoying reading your observations tremendously. Love your humour! Rock on!