than my new favorite website, Texts From Last Night. The idea is to send in regrettable text messages (the numbers are area codes):
(704): I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"(303): I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.(845): Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.(636): I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani(305): He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.(408): carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
(415): be there in 3 mins(253): I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.(323): Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
(562): The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
(323): fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me.(706): hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.(727): He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.(510): I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
(1-510): It was probably Jesus.
(510): I feel like he would have left a message.(518): I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty(916): is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
(1-916): what happened to yours?
(916): i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it…then i tried to wash it off under the sink.(843): Nice meating you last night
(843): Not a typo
Roughly 2 things occur to me:
I miss minutiae-obsessed American friendships. It's a joy (seriously) to get random text messages from friends saying 'I'm sitting next to the weirdest guy on the bus' or 'Dude! [description of previous night]'.
American friendships prioritize immediacy, whereas Euro-friendships go for more of a long-term simmer. There's a case to be made for both, but constitutionally I'm more of a short-term quipper than a long-term delver.
The above repartee is exactly what I was talking about the other day. All of the above statements have more wit, character and connection to the way young people live now than anything I've seen on a 40-foot screen in the last five years. Sell the movie rights, TFLN!