Monthly Archives: April 2009

This is too easy to do to straight people

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Me and my brother were on IM last night

Brother: hey man, kicked it with some chicago friends at a club playing house music

Brother: u doing well
Me:  What, you think of me when you hear house?
Me: Cuz I'm gay, or?
Brother: i know youve had to have heard your share of house
Brother: it was pretty good
Brother: 'deep chicago house'
Brother: and there were hella gay dudes in therr
Brother:  u offended?
Me:  hahah. Deeply and thoroughly
Brother: serious?

It's like shooting some heterosexual species of fish. In a barrel shaped like a disco ball.

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‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ is an unbelievably shitty movie

And not worth commenting on at length, but was I really the only one who noticed that the only black character in the movie was named fucking Tyrone?

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You are hella glad your parents didn’t have Google when you were growing up

You just didn't know it before now:

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I wonder if the person who came up with AutoComplete ever takes a moment to contemplate all the human relationships have been soured as a result of his creation. I wonder if he ever calls up the inventor of the remote control to commisserate.   

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“My mother never mentions ‘it’ apart from when she’s making a sarcastic comment”

This is a pretty incredible entry from a pretty incredible blog:

I’m seventeen, and consider myself gay. I’ve told a fair amount of people. My best friend was first. “What?” he said. “You can’t be. I know you too well. It’s just a phase.” That made me smile. A few weeks ago he casually mentioned he always knew. Which version is true I don’t know. Both I guess.

My parents know too. I didn’t tell them. Well no, I did. I didn’t want to though. Both put me in a position where I had to tell them. […] I’m a little bitter about it. It was mine to tell, not theirs to take. They love me though. In their separate ways. My mother was being selfish – why hadn’t her son told her first? My dad was upset – why can’t his son talk about things with him?

[…]

I often see boys I like. I try and make eye contact. Invisible. That’s what I must be. Oh wait, no. Of course. Boys like girls. Why would they want to look into my eyes?

Last week I went to London for the day. Lots of boys to look at. No boys looked at me. Only a man with a funny accent twice my age. How naïve can I get? The moment the tone changed and I realised what he wanted, I was scared, upset and angry. A man in central London doesn’t talk to you to be friendly. He isn’t interested in my plans for the future. He’s talking to me because he wants to fuck me.

He was trying to charm me into going back to his house. Why me? Do I look gay? The woman next to me can hear what you’re saying. Help me. But he isn’t saying anything bad. Nothing explicit, nothing even remotely sexual. Just a lot of talk about how we could be “friends.” A lot of talk of how he’d like to “entertain” me. No I’m not writing my number down. I’m doing the Sudoku.

A friend of mine here just came out of the closet at age 29. This is mostly hilarious ('Wait, you guys have never slept with girls? Why not?!') and occasionally poignant.

Here's one of the the comments on that entry:

I still remember feeling some of the things you described, Tim. I tried dating girls. I was a good kisser too. One girl said that when I kissed her it made her knees go all weak. I tried to imagine what that might have felt like.

I found out a few years later when I kissed a man for the first time.

My friend is always surprised that he actually wants the people he dates to call him back. He has literally never felt this before.

It's funny seeing an adult go through all the stuff I manhandled at age 16. There's a whole new world out there for him. It's like watching your grandma use Skype for the first time.

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This quote sounds ridiculous

but that doesn't stop me from completely agreeing with it:

People often have an instinctive belief that the creator of an artistic work is the best interpreter of the work, but there’s no reason to see it that way. Indeed, the fact that all real Star Wars fans reacted very negatively to Lucas’ most recent Star Wars films is an excellent indication that Lucas himself has a fairly weak grasp on the material.

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You can tell the religious right is losing the fight on gay marriage

because they're resorting to this weak shit:

The proposition on the table right now is that our faith itself is a form of bigotry. […] Public opinion hasn't changed much at all. What's changed is the punishment the gay marriage movement is inflicting on dissenters, which is narrowing the circle of people willing to speak.

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But the two most important messages I've been telling people: 1. Marriage matters because children need a mom and dad. And 2. Gay marriage is going to effect a lot of people besides Adam and Steve. Because if you disagree with the government's definition of marriage you can expect to be treated like a bigot who opposes interracial marriage.

When I first read this, a few things struck me:

  1. If the '90s taught America anything, it's that no group is too powerful or mainstream to posture as if it's a persecuted minority. The 'narrowing circle' referred to above encompasses 76 percent of the U.S. population, including the president and the overwhelming majority of Congress and the Supreme Court. Note to Christian America: You are not the Kurds.
  2. The anti-gay marriage right has apparently given up on the center. This message isn't crafted to appeal to moderate soccer-parents who just watched Adam and Steve move in next door. The 'you will be persecuted for living your faith' message only serves to rally the troops. They're going for money and turnout, not hearts and minds.
  3. The factual foundation of these arguments is looking sandier by the minute. The statement 'public opinion hasn't changed much at all' is hilarious to anyone who has read a newspaper in the last 6 years.
  4. Since when did opposition to gay marriage become a fundamental component of the Christian faith?
  5. Christians oppose premarital sex too, but that doesn't give them the right to deny employment or housing to unmarried, cohabiting couples. They're not under any particular seige because this is so. 
  6. Besides, it's already illegal in many states to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation. Refusing to hire Brad the Lisping Intern will still be prohibited, whether he's married or not.
  7. By implying that opposition to gay marriage is your faith, they're ignoring the Christians who aren't bothered by same-sex couples. There's a wide range of opinions among religious people on this issue.
  8. OK, I might be making that last part up . Who knows what religious people are up to? I live in Europe! I don't know any! Ahahahah!
  9. I keep waiting for someone to point that this argument ('No, you're the bigot, you unrepentant minority!') is exactly the one that a Muslim would make if he didn't want to work with Jews. 'You're right, Dr. Muhammad. We're monsters for making you compromise your deeply-held beliefs just to kowtow to the forces of political correctness. We'll get the Schwartzes out of the waiting room.'

In other words, can you guys just shut up and let us win already? We need to get through this so we can move on to our real agenda: Polygamy, incest and bestiality.

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Spring forward, fall back

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Celebrating Jesus’s anti-birthday in Berlin

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This could get good

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Nice

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